The therapeutic relationship - "You Are Not Alone"
"I am not alone" is something I have come to understand in my own life: that we don’t have to do everything by ourselves.
Sometimes we can become so used to coping, managing and carrying things on our own that reaching out for support can feel difficult. It took me time to realise that asking for support is not a sign that we cannot manage. Sometimes, it is an act of courage — allowing someone else to be there with us.
This is also at the heart of how I understand therapy.
I believe that the relationship between client and counsellor - you and I, matters. My therapy room offers a space where you can be met by me with curiosity, compassion and without judgement. A space where you can slow down, be heard and begin to explore what you are experiencing with me alongside you.
As a counsellor, I cannot do the work for you, and I don’t believe that I should. You remain the expert in your own experience. What I can offer is my presence, my listening and my support as we make sense of things together.
You don’t have to go through, do and experience everything alone.
A space to be yourself
I believe therapy should be a space where you can come as you are.
You don’t need to have everything figured out before you come to therapy. You don’t need to know exactly what you want to talk about or have the right words to describe how you feel. We can start wherever you are.
Together, we can pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, relationships, body and the ways you experience the world around you. Sometimes this may involve making sense of the past; at other times, we may focus on what is happening for you here and now.
Most importantly, therapy is your space. My role is to listen, to notice, to ask questions, to offer another perspective when helpful and to be alongside you as you explore your own experience.
Gestalt Therapy
Gestalt Therapy is at the heart of my work.
It invites us to become curious about what is happening for you (and us) in the present moment — your thoughts, emotions, body, relationships and the ways you respond to the world around you.
Rather than simply asking “Why am I like this?”, we might become curious about “What is happening for me right now?” and “What do I notice when I experience this?”.
Being curious about ourselves, opens up a path to better understanding. For example experiencing anger can be uncomfortable or unwanted, however, if we can listen to our anger with curiosity, we might learn why we feel the way we feel - it might be pointing out unfairness, or imbalance in our life.
Our emotions are not against us, but are valuable information about ourselves. I offer the support the explore this together, rather than trying to manage everything on your own.
I believe that greater awareness can create new possibilities. When we begin to notice patterns in how we think, feel and relate to ourselves and others, we can start to make different choices.
The relationship between us is also an important part of Gestalt Therapy. We can pay attention to what happens between us in the room, creating an opportunity to experience yourself in a relationship that is supportive, respectful and without judgement.
You don’t have to change who you are to be worthy of support. Therapy can be a place to become more deeply aware of who you are and what you need.
Drawing from different perspectives
While Gestalt Therapy is at the heart of my work, I also draw on ideas from other modalities and theories such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Psychodynamic Therapy, Attachment Theory. These can help us explore the connection between our thoughts, feelings and behaviours, as well as we can learn ow past experiences and relationships may continue to influence how we understand ourselves and relate to others today.
I don’t believe that one approach will fit every person or every situation. I therefore adapt my way of working to you, drawing on different therapeutic perspectives where they may be helpful.
What matters most is not following a particular formula, but finding an approach that feels meaningful and useful for you.
You are the expert in your experience
I don’t see therapy as something that is done to you.
You are the person who knows your life, your experiences and your world better than anyone else. My role is not to tell you what you should think, feel or do, but to help you explore your experience with curiosity and without judgement.
There may be times when I offer a different perspective, ask a difficult question or gently draw your attention to something I notice. There may also be moments when we simply sit with something that feels difficult, without needing to immediately find an answer.
We will work together to understand what you need and what you would like to be different.
You don’t have to have all the answers before you begin. We can discover them together.
Walking alongside you
Starting therapy can feel like a big step, particularly if you are used to dealing with things on your own.
You don’t have to know exactly where the journey will take you. We can start with where you are today and take it one step at a time.
I offer you a space where you can slow down, be listened to and explore what is happening for you. I will bring my presence, curiosity, experience and support, while you bring your own experience and whatever feels important to you.
Sometimes, having someone alongside you can make all the difference.
What Therapy Can Help You With
Self-esteem and self-worth
Feeling of stuckness
Facing physical illness and diagnoses
Relationship with food and eating
Body image
Feeling of loss of control
Questions around national identity
Being an immigrant/exiled
I HAVE EXPERIENCE SUPPORTING PEOPLE WITH:
Loneliness
Anxiety
Depression
ADHD
Grief
Abuse
Childhood trauma
Relationship issues